10 Gifts to Give a Friend Whose Child Has Cancer or Another Serious Illness

(That’s Not Food)

When a child is diagnosed with a life changing illness or injury, community support is critical. Yet it can be hard to know what to say or what gifts to give a friend whose child has cancer or another severe illness. Meal trains, food delivery and comfort food are all popular and wonderful options. But sometimes it’s good to do something a bit different. After all, there is only so many casseroles a family can eat.

Gifts to Give a Family When a Child is Seriously Ill or Injured

Below is a list of top 10 gifts to give a friend when a child has cancer or another seriously illness. From physical gifts to acts of service, we’ve got you covered. And for more ideas on how to support children with life changing illnesses and injuries, visit the Community Page.

1. Household Necessities

Many people will send food and gifts, but what often gets overlooked are the little things that keep a house running. Toilet paper, tissues, paper towels, cleaning products – these are the items that may force a run to the store and cause even more stress for a family. Personal items like soap, shampoo, toothpaste and facial products, are also a good idea, but it can be helpful to first ask about preferred brands and allergies. Or if you know the family well, you may have seen what they use throughout the day.

Other items that a family facing a critical illness or injury may need include hand sanitizer, disposable masks, rubber gloves, packable snacks and travel size tissues. Things for siblings staying home and attending school are also a great idea. Easy to pack snacks and lunch box items, fast and easy breakfasts to get them out the door, and school supplies to fit their age, grade and school district are just a few things to offer.

2. Comfortable Items for the Hospital

Hospitals are notoriously cold, sterile environments that can be scary for the child and caregiver alike. Cozy clothes and accessories like PJs, socks, robes and blankets can bring a little comfort to what can be a less than welcoming room. And choosing what to wear instead of a hospital gown can help your friend and their child regain sense of control.

Think of (or ask!) what your friend may need and be sure to consider favorite colors, patterns and themes, as well as their typical size. Or ask a family member who may know them best. Then you can deliver the gift to their home, or have it shipped directly to the hospital to be placed in their room. Typically, you just need the child’s name and where they are a patient, but it’s best to check the hospital’s policies first.

3. Regular Check-Ins, Over the Long Haul

Often there is an influx of support at the initial diagnosis and a family can even be overwhelmed by caring friends and family. But for many, treatments can continue for months or even years. After a while, it may feel as if everyone else has moved on to the next crisis, forgetting about the family.

True friends are the one who send a text or call to check-in on a regular basis for the entire time the child is in treatment. And continue to do so even after they are well, as returning to daily life and survivorship aren’t always easy.  One way to accomplish this is to set regular calendar reminders to check in, and note important dates (birthdays, the anniversary of the diagnosis, major surgeries, or scans) whenever you hear about them. Then you’re sure to remember to reach out and see how your friend, and their child, are doing. It will mean more than all the gifts in the world, trust me.

Not sure what to say? Finding the right words can be intimidating! Check out our list of things to say to parents of children with cancer and other illnesses for tips and ideas.

4. Gifts for Siblings and Other Family Members

With so much time and attention required to support a child with an illness or injury, it’s easy for other family members to feel overlooked. Even just a card or word of encouragement or empathy for the other children can go a long way. When you bring a gift for the child with cancer or another illness/injury, be sure to also bring something for siblings. Even better, offer to spend some time together or take them out on a special date. 

And don’t forget the fathers! Often, they are the last ones on the list but they’re also struggling. It’s nice to help ease the burden of juggling treatments, work and running a family. But offering something just for them, that sees them as an individual, can mean everything.

5. Practical Gift Cards

When you think about the financial stress of an illness or injury, medical bills may be what first comes to mind. But the constant travel and need to order food or eat out can also be quite a burden, especially if one caregiver needs to stop working. Gift cards for restaurants, grocery and food delivery, or coffee shops near the home or the hospital are a great way to help a family if their child has a serious illness or injury. Gift cards for Amazon, Target, Walmart and other local retailers can also be useful. And don’t forget about the hospital restaurants and cafeteria. Many hospitals have gift cards available for purchase online, typically under the family resource section.

6. Childcare

As any parent knows, time is at a premium and it can be hard to get things done while juggling childcare. This is doubly so when one child has a serious illness or injury. Yet childcare and extra help is hard to come by, and often expensive. Plus, caregivers may be hesitant to hire a typical babysitter if their child has complex medical needs. But a trusted friend or relative? Now there may be someone who can help.

Offer to watch the kids so your friend can get a break, run errands, or just get a few things around the house done. Should the child have complex medical needs, consider caregiver training. Many hospitals and social services agencies provide trainings for family and community members. This may give your friend peace of mind and you the confidence you need.

If there are multiple children, you can also care for the siblings while the other child goes to appointments or receives treatments. (Should you care for siblings for an extended period of time, the About Me Sibling Support Form may be a great resource to learn more about their preferences and routine.) You can also help siblings by watching the ill or injured child so they can get the one on one time they desperately need.

Let your friend be the guide on what will be most useful and be sure to provide a few different times you can provide caregiving. A general offer to watch the kids “sometime” often leads to nothing as your friend may be hesitant to ask. Be specific and be sure to schedule something right away.

7. Hospital Care Packages

For those staying overnight at the hospital or longer, a care package can be a great way to make their stay a bit more comfortable. Think of things they might need while they’re away from home. Small travel sized items will provide just enough without being a burden. And since days at the hospital can be long and tedious, activities, books and games are a welcome distraction.  Below are a few ideas for a hospital care package to get you started. And be sure to check hospital policies to find out if there are any restrictions. 

What to Put in a Hospital Care Package

• Eye mask (sleep mask)
• Portable Sound Machine and/or Ear plugs (hospitals can be noisy places!)
• Books and magazines
• Comfy socks
• A travel blanket or pillow
• Tea
• Snacks like granola bars, portable fruit and chips
• Personal items like chapstick, hand lotion, tissues and hand sanitizer
• Pen and Journal for personal thoughts, medical notes or doodling
• Activities like a word search, coloring book, deck of cards or travel games
• Bright Cheerful Pillowcase
• Silly putty or fidget toy
• Dollar bills or coins for vending machines

8. Cleaning and Lawn Service

With so much time spent on medical appointments, school runs and errands, household maintenance often falls to the bottom of the list. The gift of a cleaning or lawn service can be a godsend to a family. Yes, you can always offer to do it yourself, and often this is very appreciated. But for some, getting this type of help from a friend can be uncomfortable. It may be easier for them to accept if it is done by a professional. 

9. A Break and Some Fun

Life can get very serious, very fast when a child is diagnosed with a life-changing illness or injury. And sometimes what your friend really needs is a break! Offer to take her to do something fun, like get a pedicure, go shopping, or grab coffee. And be sure to talk about things other than their child’s medical needs.

Or if time is an issue, you can drop off something to help them relax and practice self-care. It could be a book or magazine, supplies for a favorite hobby, or even a silly toy. You can also gift non-material things, like a podcast or music playlist, a customized streaming watchlist, or even funds for their favorite mobile game. Then follow up to make sure they actually use it, and don’t, as is often the case, ignore their own needs.

10. A Listening Ear

While presents, funds and help are always incredibly appreciated, one can’t underestimate the value of a listening ear. It may be one of most valuable gifts to give a friend whose child has cancer or another illness! They are going through a lot of change, and not the good kind at that. They likely need someone to just listen, help them process it, and allow them to feel whatever they feel.

Call, visit or text your friend to check in and provide an open, safe place for them to talk about whatever they want. Then truly, truly listen. The best listeners allow silence, room for thought and reflect back what they’ve heard. Your friend is not looking for medical advice. Or a story of someone you know who found a miraculous cure. Mostly, they just need to someone to quietly listen.

Want more ways to help children and their families cope with life-changing illnesses and injuries? Visit us a CaseforSmiles.org to get involved today!